Week Two:

FINAL SCORE: CLAYMORES 10 ADMIRALS 14

CHEDDARHEAD CLOWN-O-METER FOR THE DAY

Shuggie: 9 out of 10

 Made a critical error in judgment by re-naming fellow fans Greg, George and Fiona as Bruce, Brian and Sheila. His persistent in the latter brought about a Bill Maas death stare from the young lady and the biggest bird you've seen flipped since Sesame Street.

 Revived the infamous "DOCTOR!" chant, which basically entails shouting "DOCTOR!" at the Claymores team doctor whenever he is in ear shot.

 Front-flashed the cheerleaders in the 1st half

 

Season Score: 13

Preston: 10 out of 10

 Had a dream that involved a black bear, Thunder head coach Pete Vaas, a Thunder cheerleader and Claymore fan Mark Baker. Only in Amsterdam …

 Mistakenly called Admirals diehard fan Ton "Ross" and then persisted doing so as this was a 'great nickname'.

 Stole 2 slices of pizza from the ArenA.

 During a post game meal at a steak house, on the way back from the toilet, boarded a curiously placed lift 'for fun', ended up on the 6th floor of a hotel, jumped into a cot, threw a mattress on top of Shuggie and then raided a service trolley for 12 shower caps.

 Danced on a table in Teasers (again)

 

Season Score: 19

 

 

CHEDDAR CAM RECAPS THE DAY

If it's Amsterdam, it must be Teasers, and that means watching Dave and Phil from Monarchs 2000 spend the equivalent of the GNP of a small African nation on bodyshots! Why exactly do they want the team back in London again?

Ground control to Major Ton Vlaming! Roy's latest headgear (see below) gets a test run from the Trench Crew!

 

Full metal helmet and jacket as modeled by Senator Roy. Despite our misgivings that the big f'in speakers would likely induce a hernia, Roy lasted until the 2nd half before the medics were called in!

But what are Roy and Mark looking at?

 

That would be Shuggie Clown and Fire Laura producing a highland fling played by piper Steve in front of Central Station in Amsterdam of course!

This was more entertaining than the power party …

 

However there was salvation at the Power Party in the form of some Schlosser Alt smuggled in from Germany by our Aachen smugglers Christof and Andrea. There are no words to express our gratitude … so kneeling down and praying seemed the way forward!

 

Also making the Aachen run was The Legend! Legend did something that Charger fanatic Big Harry never managed last year - see the Chargers win!

 

Ton makes some equipment adjustments after a trip to one of the glorious outside urinals that Amsterdam has to offer. These things are great! But sadly nobody figured that after a while they stink of piss! Duh!!!

 

Reggie Hunt gets pumped pre-game. The gentleman on the right is THE DOCTOR!!!

 

TOM-
SU-
LA

!!!

 

Antonio Dingle still showing some ill effects from some dodgy food he ate at Three-Quarters last week …

 

Fly Air Central! Unfortunately the Admirals receivers did as #29 didn't have a great game again … But Cent will bounce back!

Some of our O-linemen had dyed their hair white this week (center Jay Humphrey pictured). Clearly it affected their ability to block anybody as our offense was completely manhandled by the Admirals defense. 124 yards total O. 7 sacks given up. Ouch!

 

Clint attempts to call our 4th time out of the 1st half, just 6 minutes into the game. Sadly the officials weren't fooled …

 

The failing headsets, the inability of anybody to block anybody, or anybody to catch the ball and hold onto it, and the threat of being injured in the shotgun by the football would lead to a wee bit of Stoerner Rage!

#14 had every right to be upset - this team lacked any intensity on offense on Saturday.

"Brad, don't let them send me in, I'll get killed out there!!!"

Our D was playing tough as well though. We racked up five 1st half sacks of QB Spergon Wynn (here under center) including two by Brit Rob Flickenger.

 

When the game gets dull … it's time to abuse the opposition mascot and what better one than our old nemesis the Admirals Duck!

No soaking for him this year though …

Even Big Dawg Chris looked bored and had to resort to playing with his bone …

 

And so it came to pass that the first half deteriorated into a snooze fest as modeled by this hardcore fan.

HALF TIME 0-0!!!

Everybody thinks the homefield advantage that the Admirals have is to do with the fact they close the roof, and have their fans blow horns until they pass out. Not true! The real advantage the Admirals have is not having to go up and down these shaky metal stairs at half-time in cleats that threaten to give out!!!

What's this? I don't believe it! It's … pass protection!!! Throw the ball Clint. Please!!!!!

Touchdown Claymores! Once again it was LB London Dunlap to the rescue, recovering a muffed punt on the Admirals 1 yard line. This led to an impressive 1 yard drive which consisted of Vaughn Sanders burrowing in from 1 yard out!

CLAYMORES 7-0!

Touchdown Admirals! Chris Coleman beats Cent for the ball and it's all square minutes later. It's a shoot-out!!!

7-7 in the 3rd

Dante and the DOCTOR!!! Right in front of the cheerleaders is not a bad place to get stretched out really.

Once again Dante was hobbling, limiting his effectiveness but he was our best WR on the day with 3 grabs for 53 yards.

It was a bad day for our guys. Kohei Satomi had his arm in a sling in the 2nd half, and could only watch from afar. He is likely done for the season …

 

Once more special teams came to the rescue. LB Keith Miller forced a fumble on a punt return (Clarence Williams we thank you again) and the offense marches on an 'impressive' -10 yard drive to set up a 37 yard FG from Rob Hart!

CLAYMORES 10-7

The traveling tartan support sense another theft of victory …

 

But Chris Coleman would pull in this pass for a 30 yard TD with a minute and a half left to give the Admirals a late lead. The Claymores didn't even threaten to get a 1st down on their next drive as Stoerner was harassed once more, ending the game on a sack.

ADMIRALS 14-10.

FINAL

 

This I've never seen before. Coach Dahlquist was one of the first to leave the field which was highly odd. Add to that and he blanked the 40 or so fans we had out there and we weren't happy with the new coach!!!

Dial 1-800-CRINER please!

Thankfully the players didn't follow the coach's lead and they showed that they appreciated our lung function during the game.

Thanks for the glove Keith!

 

Ladies and Gentleman the starting offense for the Scottish Claymores …

LONDON DUNLAP!!!

 

Big thanks to the Hotel Ross who provided a floor without measure. You can see why it's easy to confuse this good looking gentleman with Ton.

 

And so after a hard night it was back to Chez Ross and that meant sweet dreams of bears, cheerleaders and coaches for Preston!

And yes that is a shower cap …

 

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