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WEEK
2 - CLAYMORES 3 at RHEIN 31
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PREGAME
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| Week 2 saw us back in Dusseldorf again for our annual trip of getting hosed on by the Fire. Even though you know in your heart it's going to happen, the great thing about Dusseldorf is that there is always a moment in the night, late late in the night, when you suddenly convince yourself a Claymores victory is on the way! Will we ever learn? |
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Between these 3 guys are a total of 6 Super Bowl appearances. From L to R are Preston, Mike Lodish and Christof. Mike of course was Four Times Pasted in the Super Bowl as a Buffalo Bill but then was very Fortunate To Play for Denver when John Elway and Terrell Davis led the Broncos to SB XXXII and XXXIII Championships. Here he gets an FTP pin for his troubles (check out their Week 2 report at their site). As the answer to a great trivia question, Mike remains the only player in NFL history to have played in the SB 6 times. Mike was calling the game for NFL Network, and to be honest needs some work. (Example: Curt Anes is not southpaw!) |
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The night before the game means a trip to Knoten, and the medicinal dosage of Schlosser. As it was Good Friday again, there was no music - so much girlie singing compensated for it. It was about this time Graber the chicken passed out. This was not a reflection on the quality of the singing! |
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Back at Knoten on GameDay and time for a little Twister before heading on the bus to Schalke. For more info on Twister Over Europe please click here. Also please note that the standard of officiating in this game was very poor - and no foul was called on Roy for unsportmanslike conduct on Preston! |
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| Back to Siberian Schalke. Even Santa was freezing his nuts off. |  |
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Schalke survival kit - sneakies attached to a lanyard. Open only in event of Claymore offense implosion ... |
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| You would never think it to look, but when Roy and Preston remove their oversized headgear Dom is actually taller than both of them. |  |
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| On stage at Schalke. MC Sausage had called us up to perform offensive line duties to help teach the Fire fans when to make noise during the game. Since we never got on the field though, they kept quiet throughout ... |
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Sausage - "OK guys it's 3rd and 10 - let's call a pass that will get us the 1st down" Preston - "We don't have one". |
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| Preston forgets the snap count again ... |  |
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| The roof was closed inside the stadium. It can be safely said that this had no bearing on the outcome of the game. And it was still cold. |  |
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The same 3 banners hang again in Week 2 as they hung in Week 1. No wind conditions this week. |
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| However smoke was a factor as the Fire once again proved they are #1 in the league in pyrotechnics. |
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Also #1 in bizarre pre-game entertainment. An sort of reenactment of Braveheart, with added caped cheerleaders. We're not sure if the cheerleaders were wearing authentic 13th century outfits, but we do believe it was in this century the Claymores last won in Rhein. After a load of swashbuckling and stripping - the Pyromaniacs entered the fray accompanied by the very traditional German Scottish pipe band. The Super Bowl never had anything like this! |
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Why was Fire coach Pete Kuharchek looking so uncharacteristically miserable before the game??? Because he was about to get fired! |
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Could the Fire go 2-0 for the first time since 1998? Could the Claymores go 0-2 for the 1st time since 1998? Read
on! |
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| THE GAME | ||
| Things were still going well as this stage. And they improved when we called correctly the opening coin toss. |  |
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We took the ball and Nick Davis pulled off a 27 yard return. The game was going well! |
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Then on 1st down, we pulled off the ultimate surprise - a downfield pass. Nick Davis had got behind Fire safety Tony Ludkins (who was subject to some brutal heckling by us last year) and Nate Hybl heaved the ball down the sideline ... which Davis pulls in and it looks like he might have a shot at 6 points ... But he runs out of bounds!!!! The play gained 23 vertical yards but clearly this lack of execution meant that attempting any further passes down the field would be too risky a strategy, and we decided to go back to the "Horizontal Offense" of last week. |
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And nobody runs this better than Nate "Horizontal" Hybl who even when given time by the O-line would not deliver the ball down the field. To clarify the rest of the game report, horizontal yards will be differentiated from vertical yards ... |
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After our initial drive stalled in the red zone, Rob Hart stepped up and booted a 35 vertical yard FG to give us the lead. And when you have not had a lead in Rhein for the 1st time in 6,158 football seconds (over 92 minutes, some spent horizontal it's worth adding), it's worth celebrating. Heck you never know - you might not score again all day! CLAYMORES 3-0 |
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Our D started off well. It bottled up Fire RB Joffrey Reynolds (#26) on the Fire's 1st drive, and then got to QB Chad Hutchison on the 2nd drive when Gavin Walls (#98) planted him into the turf for a big sack. But completed Claymores passes of 4 vertical yards (19 horizontal) on 3rd & 10, and 6 vertical yards (16 horizontal) on 3rd & 7 meant we kept punting. And when on the 2nd punt, a late call of illegal man vertically downfield forced a re-kick which Nick Murphy shanked horizontally and returner Willie Quinnie returned vertically all the way to Claymores 35 yard line the net loss of the penalty became 42 vertical yards! |
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| 2nd
Q A penalty on Ivory McCoy who inadvertently hit Hutchison's facemask as he was being 'escorted' by the Fire left tackle gave Rhein 1st and goal at the 5 yard line. Both McCoy and Gavin Walls made their presence felt this week. Just a shame it took until the 2nd half 4th Q for the officials to spot it ... |
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The Claymores D looks to have Reynolds bottled up again on 2nd and Goal from the 1. But somehow he slides away and outruns the D back across the field and scoots in for the touchdown. Only 1 yard vertically, but an impressive 32 yards horizontally! FIRE
7-3
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2nd
Q |
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Fire threw in their #2 QB Greg Zolman, but they quickly had to punt as well. Anes's 2nd drive wasn't any more successful when the Fire D decided to behead him. Quite how you can knock off the QB's helmet and not give him a blow to the head is a mystery ... |
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Hutchinson was back in at QB for the Fire on their next. He finally showed some rhythm hitting Willie Quinnie for back to back 1st downs, and then found TE Daniel Wilcox all alone at the 6 yard line who had to leave his feet to grab the high pass. The D then held and forced a 20 vertical yard FG from Ingo Anderbrugge. FIRE 10-3 |
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With only 30 seconds left in the half, we played it Smart with a run to Ian, a dump off pass to Ian (9 vertical yards, 21 horizontal) before Anes was sacked as he tried to get off a vertical Hail Mary pass. FIRE 10-3 (HT) |
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Half-time entertainment was again Twister, where horizontal aptitude is an important attribute. Would Preston lose again? Please see TWISTER OVER EUROPE for more details. |
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| Half-time on field entertainment involved blowing a lot of smoke around the stadium to cover up the empty seats at Schalke. |
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3rd
Q College
Football has some dumb rules, but the one it has right is pass interference.
Only assess the full distance if it is a flagrant penalty, unless then
mark off 15. It's too severe and can change the course of a game. |
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The Fire are in the end zone 2 plays later when Quinnie catches a 9 yard toss from Hutchinson. FIRE 17-3 |
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Another
3 and out for the offense, as Hybl racks
up the horizontal yardage but little vertical stuff when McCready catches
a 0 yard pass 3rd and 3. But then it looks like we've got the ball back
as Marcus Helfman recovers a Quinnie fumble on the punt return. |
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| But the officials somehow rule him down, which is a surprise to the Fire defense which had trotted on the field. Poor Jack and Vince Martino had a long 2nd half dealing with the men in the striped shirts ... |
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| When the calls go against you, you've just got to block the officials out of the way. |
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And when we did force a punt and get the ball it was deja vu all over again. A dangerous vertical pass from Hybl is picked off by Abdual Howard who takes it 79 yards to paydirt. (Last year he went 93 yards) FIRE 24-3 |
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4th
Q |
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More 4th quarter follies ... Nick Murphy gets his punt blocked. He picks the ball up and tries to evade the pursuing Fire defenders but is thrown back into the end zone. In his disgust, Nick tries to spike the ball to the ground, but even that goes astray as the ball slips out his hand. Hopefully Nick can work on his end zone spike in the coming weeks! |
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The Pyromaniacs signaled safety on the play and that's normally good enough for us. But Murphy was ruled down on the 4 yard line and the Fire offense was given another chance for the endzone ... |
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Which they found 2 plays later when Reynolds burrowed through for a 2 yard score. FIRE 31-3 |
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| The rest of the 4th quarter was uneventful. However there was a Tom Arth sighting, but alas it was 3 and out again. |
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We punted the ball back to the Fire on 4th and 3 from our own 40 yard line with 5:42 left. We never saw it again. Fire obviously realised that sometimes you can go for it on 4th down, as they converted a 4th and 1 at midfield with 3:09. As
much as we were happy to get the game over with, you'd think the team
that was down by 28 might be the one going for 4th down conversions
... FINAL |
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| POSTGAME | ||
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Game "cheddars" to...
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What we learnt after Week 2 ...
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Odds & Ends 1st time we ever met Sausage was on our 1st trip to Dusseldorf in 1997. We won on that glorious Sunny Sunday, and figured we'd get to do it again real soon. Well 7 trips later, and a grand total of 59 Claymores points scored in those games - and we've not come close! |
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So there's only 1 way to go after a day like that, and that's to go and drink like a girl. Preston's straw seems to have missed the jug of Louisiana Sunrise, but there was surely was a FTP Bowl at the end of it. Catch the FTP Website and find out all the girly gossip. |
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The
Defense.
They played a solid game from start to finish. They held the Fire running
game to 79 yards on 34 carries (a 2.3 average), with 
